Archive | April 2012

Funniest Movie Quotes

Everyone has their favourite movies, filled with memorable and hilarious lines. Here are a few of mine :

Superbad –

Evan : McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?

Becca : Your penis is so smooth – Evan: Thanks, yours would be too if you were a man.

Officer Slater : McLovin! Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with your penis?

Jules: You scratch our backs, we’ll scratch yours. – Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it’s located on my cock.

Seth : She wants my dick in and around her mouth.

Knocked Up –

Alison : What do you think? He’s funny, right? – Debbie : He’s playing fetch with my kids… he’s treating my kids like they’re dogs.

Bouncer : Shit makes me sick to my stomach, I get the runs from the stress. It’s not cause you’re not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can’t let you in cause you’re old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.

Pete: Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.

Pete : Never do what they did. – Charlotte : I’m gonna do it…

Mean Girls –

Gretchen : I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can’t help it that I’m popular.

Crying girl :I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could  bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be  happy… – Damian : She doesn’t even go here!

Karen : If you’re from Africa…why are you white?

Damian : 4 for you glen coco, you go glen coco!

Jessica Lopez: I don’t hate you because you’re fat – you’re fat because I hate you.

Student : Nice wig Janis what’s it made of? – Janice : Your mums chest hair.

Regina : Oh, my God. It’s her dream come true, diving into a big pile of girls.

Bethany : One time, she punched me in the face. It was AWESOME!

Bethany : I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip-flops, so I bought army pants and flip-flops.

Karen: You know who’s looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski. – Gretchen: OK, you did not just say that. – Karen: What? He’s a good kisser. Gretchen: He’s your cousin. – Karen: Yeah, but he’s my first cousin. – Gretchen: Right. – Karen: So you have your cousins and then you have your first cousins, then you have your second cousins…

The Ringer –

Thomas : Should I wear my top up… or down… or up…or POSSIBLY tucked in?

Glen : I work at burger king..would you like fries with that?

Steve: My name is Lance, and i like nutssss.

Thomas : Jimmy! Can I have your autograph? – Jimmy : Get it off eBay. – Thomas : Who is eBay?

Yolie : We have all the main beverages.

 

 

 

Spiders In My Bed

So , I wasnt going to make a post tonight, however as I was lying in my bed, all tucked up and browsing twitter, a big spider fell on to my laptop keyboard. As I hadn’t seen this spider beforehand, I quickly slammed the case shut, squashing it immediately. I scanned the ceiling and bed for any more eight legged critters and as there was no others I decided to get back into bed.

However, now I keep thinking that I can feel spiders crawling on me and it’s really annoying. I keep questioning ‘ what would have happened if i were asleep and that spider came down?’ Would it have just crawled over me or would it crawl into my mouth and down my throat, just like the myth of humans eating spiders in their sleep goes.

What is it with animals making their way into my bed? Not so long ago I was stung by a huge wasp at 3.45 am, as it had made its’ way in my sheets and up  my bottoms!

Top 15 Songs This Week

The  top 40 singles in the UK are revealed every Sunday on BBC Radio 1 and every week, without a doubt there will be at least 20 songs in the charts that are either mediocre or crap. So the conclusion to this is to make my own ‘chart’ of underrated songs/ my favourite songs. Yes Carly Rae Jepsen’s song, that is currently number one, is catchy, but you won’t find it on my iPod any time soon and as for Chris Brown’s – Turn Up The Music and Labrinth’s – Last Time, well they are truly irritating.

15.Kyla La Grange – Vampire Smile. An original, good song.

14.D’Banj – Oliver Twist. I could see myself madly dancing to this at a party!

13.The Shins – Bait and Switch which is a calm, laid back song that I can’t wait to see when the Shins play at Reading in the summer!

12.Keaton Henson – Small Hands which is the only song I am familiar with by Keaton, but I love its similarity to Ben Howard’s and James Vincent Mcmorrow’s style.

11.Otis Redding – Sitting on the Dock of the Bay. Sang on the Voice by Amy Winehouse’s friend, which was good, just not as good as Otis’ which is one of my all time favourites.

10.Taylor Swift ft The Civil Wars – Safe and Sound. With all this Hunger Games hype there has been the birth of a chilling, yet endearing soundtrack.

9. Foster the People – Helena Beat. Even though I heard this song around a year ago, it never charted in the UK and when it was played in the film 21 Jump Street (which I went to see yesterday) I remembered my love for the song and like Bait and Switch, I can’t wait to hear it at reading.

8. Jamie N Commons – Devil in Me. You have to listen to this without seeing the singer at first. You will be amazed that a voice like that can come from a young white male.

7. Beyonce – End of Time. The first time I heard this was in my school library when some of my friends were singing it and it was so catchy I had to hear it. One of Beyonce’s best I’d say!

6. Florence + The Machine – No Light, No Light. This song shows Flo at her best, with harps, drums etc all over the place. Also the song and album hasn’t been given enough recognition!

5.The Qemists ft Chantal of Invasion – Fading Halo.Just a great Tune that isn’t well-known at all, but I highly recommend it.

4.Murray James – Blue Today. Murray has such a unique voice and added with a cool song it results in this.

3.San Cisco – Awkward. This song by the unheard of Australian band has been stuck in my head for weeks on end and still hasn’t annoyed me.

2.Lana Del Rey – Dark Paradise.This is an unreleased song from my favourite album of the year so far and is on par, if not better than Video Games, Blue Jeans and Born to Die.

1. And in at number 1 is Azealia Banks – 212. This is my favourite song at the moment and is 10x better than 95% of the charts and it’s only number 12! At reading I will be at the front screaming the part where Azealia goes in.

Samantha Brick is pretty… pretty deluded

There has been a lot of talk the past few days about THAT article that Samantha Brick wrote for the Daily Mail which was about how beautiful she was and how her beauty causes all women, yes all women (Does that include Beyonce?) to feel jealous of her. Furthermore Samantha believes that she has flown by in life due to her ‘good looks’ and supposedly being ‘the most attractive woman in the room’.

Throughout this article i begin to question whether or not this is actually a joke. Surely someone can’t truly be deluded enough to write an article in a popular news paper about how good-looking she is.

Maybe it’s not a joke, maybe it’s a story trying to get pity from the public, or a failed attempt at standing up for women, I just don’t know. (The fact that this woman had the balls to do this is still baffling!) However as I watched her try and weasel her way out of the situation in an interview on ‘This Morning’ I had a feeling that this article could in fact be a publicity stunt, and as critics have recently estimated that Samantha has made the Daily Mail around £100,000, my theory has been supported. The main point that has annoyed me is the fact that this woman isn’t even that good-looking ( she’s no Zooey Deschanel) and with the addition of her awful, arrogant personality this woman clearly isn’t a catch.

Yes, Samantha obviously forgot that beauty is reflected through personality aswell as she was most probably blinded by her nose as she looks down on other women. Personally I’d much prefer Miranda Hart and her amazing personality, rather than the mediocre looking, shrewd like old Sammy.

Underrated Tv Shows

Social networking sites and talks between friends are forever filled with discussions on the latest goings on in shows such as the X Factor, the Voice, The Only Way Is Essex and so forth. This discussion, filled with trending topics like #TOWIE really bugs me as whenever I want to talk about my favourite television shows, people just aren’t interested as they ‘haven’t seen it’ or they have watched an episode and not given it a chance.

Well I, for one am tired of creative and captivating television being shadowed by mediocre drivel such as the popular, yet wooden teen drama the ‘Vampire Diaries’, which is disguised by attractive folk. Where is the appreciation for gripping horror series such as FX’s ‘American Horror Story’ or side-splitting comedy shows like ‘Modern Family’?

Yes, in America these shows have received the recognition and awards deserved, but over here in the UK, sadly shows such as ‘TOWIE’ are the shows gaining BAFTAS.

However, I’m not saying that I won’t be one of the first to comment on who I want to triumph in X Factor, or be the first to guess who the next boardroom victim will be in the Apprentice, but I am fed up of people not allowing themselves to experience greater tv.

So here are a few shows that I believe are worth the hype that surrounds ‘Merlin’ or anything to do with the Kardashians.

1. Modern Family

2. The Walking dead

3. American Horror Story

4. The Middle

5. American Dad